I found this in my draft bin. Thought I posted it back in January, but somehow I missed it. Enjoy this outtake episode:
I couldn't wait until tomorrow to write about being a one-sided witness to the greatest breakup of all time. Thursday and Friday I was the city that is so great they named a Bay after it...Tampa, FL. I walked into the airport restroom right before security and there was a young guy in a janitor uniform. He had the spiked hair, valiant attempt at a go-tee and the coveralls so often associated with the custodial arts and sciences.
He was wiping down the sink area with his cell phone in the crook of his neck (a move I refer to as "hands free"). There were other guys in the bathroom as well and the poor bastard is getting his nuts kicked by his girlfriend on the phone. So the conversation goes something like this:
Him: Yep.
(her talking, him listening)
Him: Yes, I could have done that, but here's the problem: that means I am basically taking that on along with being the only one working, and you are telling me that you don't think it's fair that you should be the one to do laundry.
(her talking, him listening)
Him: Well, I guess if you feel that strongly about it, then don't do it any more.
(her starting to talk)
Him: You know, I guess that if I'm going to be the only one working and you're home and you can't help out with the things I need to make work happen then you're a drain on my resources and I was doing my laundry and working before you moved in and I had half the expenses. Tell ya what, why don't you get your ass out of my house before I get home. That gives you (he actually looked at his watch with the phone in the crook and STILL wiping down the counters and mirrors at this point) 4 hours our so depending on traffic.
Then he hung up. That was it. He just moved ahead of the HKE counter lady. She may gate keep the brown rice of that little corner of the world, but he took the gauntlet thrown at his feet and kicked it back with a resounding Fuck You. This is a man who has had enough. He is definitely above Jonas Salk, the HKE counter lady, but is he Ted Knight level? Could be, but not certain.
Can't believe I never got this posted dear readers. Another tale of road adventure.
I couldn't wait until tomorrow to write about being a one-sided witness to the greatest breakup of all time. Thursday and Friday I was the city that is so great they named a Bay after it...Tampa, FL. I walked into the airport restroom right before security and there was a young guy in a janitor uniform. He had the spiked hair, valiant attempt at a go-tee and the coveralls so often associated with the custodial arts and sciences.
Him: Yep.
(her talking, him listening)
Him: Yes, I could have done that, but here's the problem: that means I am basically taking that on along with being the only one working, and you are telling me that you don't think it's fair that you should be the one to do laundry.
(her talking, him listening)
Him: Well, I guess if you feel that strongly about it, then don't do it any more.
(her starting to talk)
Him: You know, I guess that if I'm going to be the only one working and you're home and you can't help out with the things I need to make work happen then you're a drain on my resources and I was doing my laundry and working before you moved in and I had half the expenses. Tell ya what, why don't you get your ass out of my house before I get home. That gives you (he actually looked at his watch with the phone in the crook and STILL wiping down the counters and mirrors at this point) 4 hours our so depending on traffic.
Then he hung up. That was it. He just moved ahead of the HKE counter lady. She may gate keep the brown rice of that little corner of the world, but he took the gauntlet thrown at his feet and kicked it back with a resounding Fuck You. This is a man who has had enough. He is definitely above Jonas Salk, the HKE counter lady, but is he Ted Knight level? Could be, but not certain.
Can't believe I never got this posted dear readers. Another tale of road adventure.
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