Dearest Readers,
Today at 10 in the morning, I became divorced. This has been a long and arduous process trying to figure out my feelings, contemplating my navel, allowing myself to be manipulated, etc, etc, etc. What a letdown the proceeding was.
I knew former BQoM wouldn't show up. She never responded to any of the court papers or the attorney phone calls. Why would I expect that she would show up today? Because I am a fatalist and pessimistic, that's why. But, it turned out for the good. I actually feel lucky that we never had kids or bought a house or invested money together. I got to see first hand what that looked like this morning in the cases before mine. Saw a guy give a lawyer $10k in cash for 10 minutes in front of a judge and the lawyer let him dangle in the wind. What a sorry fucker.
As for me, I feel that I went above and beyond the call of duty here. I made efforts to stay in communication; when she needed a retreat, my door was open; when she needed help, I offered. So now I am here in my palatial imitation apartment with the afternoon free to plan, scheme, or just contemplate my navel. For the moment, I am frozen with indecisiveness. There is so much I want to do, and say, and tell people. How much they have helped me; how thankful I am to have them in my life and then return to it when things got ugly. "The only word I had was WOW."
Readers, this has been so cathartic for me, and I feel selfish for it. I owe you a bunch of trips with kick-ass food pics...or at least snarky comments about a restaurant. Thanks for your readership. The kid's gonna be ok.
As always,
Your humblest of servants,
BKoM (solo)
Today at 10 in the morning, I became divorced. This has been a long and arduous process trying to figure out my feelings, contemplating my navel, allowing myself to be manipulated, etc, etc, etc. What a letdown the proceeding was.
I knew former BQoM wouldn't show up. She never responded to any of the court papers or the attorney phone calls. Why would I expect that she would show up today? Because I am a fatalist and pessimistic, that's why. But, it turned out for the good. I actually feel lucky that we never had kids or bought a house or invested money together. I got to see first hand what that looked like this morning in the cases before mine. Saw a guy give a lawyer $10k in cash for 10 minutes in front of a judge and the lawyer let him dangle in the wind. What a sorry fucker.
As for me, I feel that I went above and beyond the call of duty here. I made efforts to stay in communication; when she needed a retreat, my door was open; when she needed help, I offered. So now I am here in my palatial imitation apartment with the afternoon free to plan, scheme, or just contemplate my navel. For the moment, I am frozen with indecisiveness. There is so much I want to do, and say, and tell people. How much they have helped me; how thankful I am to have them in my life and then return to it when things got ugly. "The only word I had was WOW."
Readers, this has been so cathartic for me, and I feel selfish for it. I owe you a bunch of trips with kick-ass food pics...or at least snarky comments about a restaurant. Thanks for your readership. The kid's gonna be ok.
As always,
Your humblest of servants,
BKoM (solo)
1 comment:
I was about to say "Sorry to hear about this" but that didn't quite seem right. I guess I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through this whole experience, but I'm glad to hear that you seem to be moving on from it.
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