Sorry we've not posted recently, but things have been a bit abnormal as of late. Mr. Clay is in his new home, and he is in the process of unpacking and making the best of his new home (sucka has to mow his yard; apartment livin' yeah yeah!). So, on the heals of my San Antonio trip, I went to Raleigh, NC and followed that up with a trip to...wait for it...damn it, I put it in the title. Yes, I was in Detroit. Mo-town. The Motor City. Home of the Tigers, Pistons, Red Wings, and Lions. The R&B capital of the world (I will not argue this point).
Raleigh first. We actually just flew into Raleigh and were actually in the township of Clayton about 50 miles away from Raleigh. As you might expect, the dining options were limited. My training cohort and I decided on the local Ruby Tuesday as it was the only dining establishment with a bar. Based on our meals, choosing a place with alcohol was a good choice. Unfortunately, (or perhaps it was for the best) Mr. Clay was not with me on this trip. I ordered the ribs with broccoli and garlic/parmesan mashed potatoes. the Robin to my Batman on this trip ordered a shrimp explosion (can't remember the name but it was something to that effect) and the cantina ensalada (salad bar).
The ribs were dry, and smothered with sauce that was way too sweet and had no spice to it. To be honest, I think they just poured molasses over them. The broc was obviously frozen and then reconstituted through the magic of "steaming". The "world famous" garlic/parmesan mashed potatoes were cold, lumpy and tasted vaguely of garlic (likely garlic salt) and not a hint of parmesan. Fortunately the beer was cold and went down easily (no bones). All in all, big loser of the week...until the MI.
My travel companion's (that sounds so Hercule Poirot) explosive shrimp was perhaps the greatest monstrosity ever plated and served to a paying customer the poor crustaceans were kabobed and then souped in sauced. When I say souped, I mean it. The plate was overflowing with this yellow sauce, which I can only imagine was the detonatable portion of this "explosive" appetizer. The cup runneth over with this sauce, yo. Seriously, the plate had so much sauce it was dripping off the side. I wish I had the camera with me, it was the bigfoot of appetizers, often heard of rarely seen.
Then on Thursday I went to the Mecca of music, birthplace of US autos, a state so great they named a lake after it, and right on the Canadian border...Detroit (I can't stop using ellipses!). The dining experience started at the DFW airport, never a good sign. We were in Terminal A and had options of Tequilaria (every large airport has one) or TGI Fridays. I was traveling with my boss who looks and sounds like Christopher Lloyd when he played reverend Jim in Taxi but with a more professional appearance. Since he had Tex-Mex the previous day, we went with PJ O'Pooter Toots (read Ben Stiller's book). He ordered the fish 'n chips and I got the club. I'd ordered it before, and my only complaint (other than being in the Toots and having to see Guy Fieri's face before eating) is that they serve it on a ciabatta roll. It's an effing club sandwich! I want toasted white bread. Period. End of story. Put it in the books. If you are serving a club sandwich, then you serve that mess on toasted white or it's just some pretentious-pile-of-crap on a bun. I blame Fieri. He might be a great guy, but I don't want to look at that shit-eating mug before ordering. Oh yeah, Guy? Your stylest just called; he needs you to come in and get your tips frosted on Wednesday.
Then the best part of the trip happened. My boss and I were the only two platinum members on the flight to Detroit (shocker) and got bumped up to first class for free (no miles, no points. Membership has its privileges) because they oversold coach. So we got the greatest thing ever, SECOND LUNCH! Like most airline meals it was wholly forgettable. I got a turkey and swiss croissant and the fuhrer got the salmon salad. However, the wider seats and extra leg room, plus the free drinks mad it worthwhile.
Then when we arrived at the hotel, the universe's karmic balance started to even up. this was easily in the top 10 worst places I've stayed the night. If anyone ever tells you that you are booked to stay at the Southfield, MI Hawthorn Suites, you need to rethink your career path. Seriously. No Joke. This will have its own separate entry along with pictures. We decided that along with second lunch, we should do dinner.
The first place we tried was the Uptown Cafe. However, when we walked in my boss became momentarily autistic due to the loud music and bizarre lighting (not to mention the scantily clad women). The place was a train wreck. The only place nearby was, of course, a TGI O' Pooter Toots. Long story short, my rare steak was served medium well, and the broc was again frozen. The training went well, and I actually love Detroit in the summer (winter will be another story).
Also, I am cautiously excited that I may be returning to Boston in the near future. Good night dear reader, and know that Guy Fieri is a colossal d-bag. Sleep well.
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